GMs vs. Sportswriters |
Category |
|
GM |
|
Sportswriter |
|
Advantage |
Biggest distraction |
|
Sportswriters |
|
Bourbon |
|
Sportswriters |
Damaged goods |
|
You close a deal for a proven starter and a AA prospect who died last summer in a cotton candy machine mishap |
|
The kind of women you meet while trying to fax a story from Kinko's at 4 a.m. |
|
Sportswriters -- the heart wants what the heart wants |
Uh-oh |
|
You just acquired a player who fathered three children with your owner's wife |
|
Your editor discovers that your team "Insider" is actually Toby, the mentally challenged towel boy |
|
Push |
Future considerations |
|
A fancy way of saying "three cases of groin ointment" |
|
What you must face when you nickname a player "Captain Over-The-Hill" |
|
Sportswriters |
Massaging the truth |
|
"You won't just be signing the contract, you'll be joining the Devil Rays family ?" |
|
"Don't worry, Mr. Rocker, this is off the record." |
|
Sportswriter |
Biggest headache |
|
Making Barry Bonds a multiyear offer without paying luxury tax |
|
Making Barry Bonds remotely sympathetic |
|
GM |
Command from boss |
|
"We need a front-line starter, a second baseman and a lower payroll." |
|
"Three-hundred words on ice dancing, and it'd better be punchy." |
|
Push |
Dream phone call |
|
"Hi, this is Chris Webber. Any chance you still have that mid-level exemption?" |
|
"I'm Anna Kournikova. You come interview me -- in my apartment. Yes?" |
|
Sportswriter |
Ichiro |
|
The find of the year |
|
"For the love of God, does anyone speak Japanese?" |
|
GM |
Disasters |
|
"What no-trade clause?!" |
|
Spilling nacho cheese on your modem |
|
Push |
Beware of |
|
Mileage on the cadaver tendon in your new star's pitching arm |
|
Hallucinating from bad press box sushi |
|
Sportswriter |
Fiscal follies |
|
Your owner is so cheap he makes you dial 10-10-2-20 before every call |
|
You tried to charge dinner at the Palm to your expense account |
|
GM |
Bad news |
|
Your phone is bugged by Scott Boras |
|
"S" key breaks during a Sammy Sosa article |
|
Push |
Ten minutes to go |
|
"We need to seal this. Toss in a cheerleader." |
|
"Quick, I need a verb." |
|
GM |
On the line |
|
Millions of dollars |
|
Dozens of dollars |
|
GM |
Assistant |
|
A motivated Ivy League graduate |
|
Nicorette gum |
|
Sportswriter |
Ultimate goal |
|
A world championship |
|
A humor column on Page 2 |
|
Push |