He's been called the world's best hockey player ... and pouty and whiny. Page 2 reveals what's on the mind of Jaromir Jagr as he tries to lead the Washington Capitals to glory and acceptance in a fickle sports city.

"Yikes! I've been traded to the U.S. Postal Service."

"Washington's the perfect place for a diplomat such as myself. After all, I've been uniting Czechs and Slovaks for a long time."

"After Mario came back, my 'C' might as well have stood for 'captive.' "

"Dammit! I won't be the biggest star in Washington, either."

"Isn't it about time for the '80s styles to come back?"

"Ted's a nice guy, but I hope he doesn't get any ideas from Mario."

"Sure I'll turn Washington into a hockey town -- except for some of the slower folks out there."