Here are the kinds of things Richard Williams says, the kinds of things that made me rub my head and will probably make you rub your head, too. The kinds of things that help you understand him one second and make you want to shake him silly the next:

• "People think I'm cocky, but I'm ahead of my time."
• "I'd do anything to make money, as long as it's legal. I'd shine your shoes."
• "I don't need a housekeeper. I vacuum and do my own dishes. I try to hold onto my money, so I can invest my money."
• "Yes, I stay at Motel 6's. See, I'm a very unbelievably healthy ghetto man. I try to save every dollar I possibly can. As a matter of fact, yesterday, I was at the bank and I bought money orders so I would not have to write checks and cashier's checks for a whole year."
• "I own so many homes that when people ask, 'Where do you live,' I just tell them I'm not sure."
• "Mr. Nixon was my favorite president. His struggle was my struggle. I don't think of Watergate when I think of Nixon. I think of him growing up in a little raggedy house. I had the same chance Mr. Nixon had."
• "I admire Clinton. Mr. Clinton dodged going into the army, and later ended up telling the army what to do."
• "The problem with America is the lack of education. For instance, so many peoples have the worst grammar."
• "I've tried to admire a lot of peoples. I'm a great admirer of Dr. King, and an unbelievable admirer of Don King."
• "I make more money than I deserve. I'm making movies, having movies made about me. I'm going to start my own magazine. I hear people say, 'He earns it off of Venus and Serena.' But I earn a ton of money. My girls wish they could earn what I earn. I doubt seriously if anyone in tennis earns what I earn. No one."
• "I'm serious about making movies. Fox will be shooting a movie about me, and also some peoples in Germany and Italy. I'm getting too big. I can't go no place. Everywhere you go, someone wants a picture, an autograph. I can't even go to the restroom at McDonalds or Burger King, and Burger King is my favorite spot."
• "I'm building a three-hole golf course on the land where I live. They'll each be par-3's, and I'll hold a contest. If you par all three of them, you get half a million dollars. Of course, they're all 500-yard holes. All we need is one ringer win it once, and everyone will pay to try it. We don't care if it's Tiger Woods or whoever. Just one ringer."
• "I'm also starting 'The Richard Williams Exotic Club.' It's my private club. If you want to come to Florida and have a good time, this is for you. I pick you up, you can drive one of my cars and live in one of my houses. But you have to have made $1 million a year, five years in a row to join. So I don't have to worry about you sponging off of me. I'll personalize one of my houses for you. I'll put your name on the welcome mat, put your picture in the house in at least five different places. And if you live in-state, we'll baby-sit your kids, helicopter you around, have a limo waiting for you. But it's not for people who've inherited money, but for people who have earned it."
• "I know I'm popular. And the reason I know is because once I wore a T-shirt with my own picture on it, and people wanted to buy them. I sold almost 4 million T-shirts in less than six months. Just my picture, that's all. Imagine selling that many T-shirts at $21 a shirt. And I have a new energy drink called 'Smash' coming out. If I told you how many millions I have in receipts on that sports energy drink right now, you'd go, 'Holy Smokes.' "
• "You ever hear people say, 'Money don't make you happy?' Do you know where that came from? It came from white people telling black people that. And the poor black man believed that. He said, 'I don't need money then.' But money do make you happy! But that's how it started back in the 1700s, with the master telling the servant that money will not make you happy. Shouldn't have believed him."
• "I can always be found in the worst ghettos. In Florida, I'm in Indian Town at least two days a week. They named a street after me -- S.W. Williams Place. The neighbors didn't think I'd let it go up. Because it's so raggedy. But this is me. If they didn't have me or Venus down here, their life wouldn't be worth living."
• "Before I married my wife, she lived in Michigan, and I went and tried to talk her into coming to California. It didn't work, so I said, I'm going home. I left a number and she called me. She said she didn't want to be involved with sex, that she wanted to graduate from college first and she wouldn't date me unless I intended to get married. So I said, 'okay, I'll do all those things. Except for one. I'm gonna have sex. Might not be with you, but I'm gonna have sex.' Because, see, I always tell the truth. Telling the truth don't hurt no one. I'm very truthful. If I say it, you can count on it."
• "I made a lot of money with my security business. I could guarantee no one would steal from you. See, most security guards do eight rounds an hour. But I'd get on my beach bicycle and do 10 rounds in 30 minutes. Or I'd be on roller skates, and do 12 an hour."
• "To this day, when I think of Venus winning Wimbledon, I water up. To be 59 years old and want to cry, wow. All you know is you're crying, but you don't realize it until the first tear hits your face. You try to hide 'em, but you shouldn't be. It's the greatest feeling I've ever had, and I don't know how to explain it. It's joy and pain at the same time."
• "I like being old. When I was 20, I'd say I was 32. I always wanted to be old. The Pharohs used to have what they called old ancient Egyptian men, and they were considered the wisest men. So I wish I was older than I am. I wouldn't mind if I was 95."
• At last year's U.S. Open, an elderly black lady came and said, 'I've come to see history.' I said, 'You want to sit in my box and watch Venus?' She said no. 'You want to watch Serena?' She said no. She said, 'I came to see you.' People have just made me too visible. Too doggone powerful."
• "I think I could've easily played in the NBA. I never thought Pat Riley was a hell of a basketball player, and he played in the NBA. And I know I could outplay him by far, and I think a lot of scouts and owners knew that, too. I played against Wilt. Kareem, too. I never seen anyone who can stop me. Sure, Wilt could block my shot. Wilt could get any shot. The only shot I know Wilt couldn't block was -- and he's dead now -- Earl, the Goat, Manigault. I don't think Wilt could've got the Goat's shot."
• "What I've learned about champions is they don't blame themselves. Maybe they'll say the wind was blowing too hard. Bu they don't blame themselves."
• "A lot of kids think my girls practiced a lot. But we'd sit in the shade in foldaway chairs, before their matches, with our ice cream, watching the other girls practice. I'd say, 'See how good you are? Look how hard they have to work to get ready to play you.' "
• "So many kids were afraid to walk on the court to play Venus, but they were just as afraid to walk off and face their parents. I'd see parents come on the court to get them, and the kid would take off running. Tennis jus just a very hard sport on young kids. And I remember a lot of kids would come up to me and ask, 'When Venus lose, do she get a whupping?' And I said, 'She don't lose.' Then they'd say, 'Well, when she loses, she'll really get a butt whupping, huh?' I said no, not at all."
• "I'm more proud of Venus's education than her being No. 2 in the world. You can play tennis until you're 25, but then, if you live to 75, you have 50 years to live like a fool."
• "The only reason I put my kids in this was to make a million dollars. But it's time we face the issue: we did it the wrong way. I don't know one tennis parent who was not looking for the money. They say, 'Not me, not me!' But let's be honest. Why do parents have their kids in sports? So they can make money. Everyone's concerned about money. I was, too. But I'd never do this again. I asked Venus, 'If not for tennis, where would you be?' She said, 'I'd just be an average person in college.' That'd be something."
• "The first word I taught Venus to spell was 'Personna non grata.' And she was very young. My wife said, 'You'll run her crazy.' But I said, 'I'd rather have a crazy kid than a sane kid on welfare."
• "I go to tournaments and watch the lower ranked players play. Sandra Cacic, Karin Miller. They say, 'Thanks for coming' or 'I never dreamed you'd be here.' But I just believe everyone needs help some kind of way, and I've always been for the underdog. But the top 10 players? I don't watch their matches."
• "I've read where I have cancer. I don't think it's true."
• "I'm 6-foot-2 and a half, but, with my confidence, I feel 100 feet tall."
• "No one has been treated as badly as me in tennis. But people can say whatever they want to say. That's the first Commandment, or is it Amendment?"
• "People accuse me of fixing my daughters' matches. I can't explain it. Nor do I even care to. It's not nearly as bad as the time I was a youngster and I had to fight the Ku Klux Klan at a golf course. This here is nothing."
• "The only thing I could think of to do at Indian Wells was cry. I don't think my mom taught me for that. Your daughter is out there, and I would never believe every fan was booing. But it sure seemed like it. And when your flesh and blood is out there, and there's nothing you can do, that's the worst, most horrifying feeling I've ever felt in my life."
• "Tennis has boomed because of Venus and Serena. But I think it's boomed also because of my intelligence and vision."
• "I think my girls will get bored with tennis. And I think they will cut their careers short. Unless some new player comes through and starts raising a bunch of hell, I think Venus and Serena will be out of here early. It's too easy right now."
• "And I don't think Venus and Serena's games have yet to show up yet, either. They haven't come close to showing up. Venus is winning with a second serve against the best players in the world right now."
• "If Venus quit tomorrow, I think Serena would, too."
• "I don't care who wins when they play each other. Because I'm not going to be there."
• "Why are Venus and Serena so tight? Because lots of times, my wife and I told them we might die. Because my wife and I would always take drives by ourselves. I said, 'What happened if we get killed on the road? You guys have to depend on each other.' So that's how it got that way."
• "People can't understand how I make money, because most people think I'm stupid. And I don't blame them. I feel the same way about myself sometimes."
• "If the tennis people don't allow me to dance at Wimbledon this year -- if I even go -- they're in trouble. If they're not willing to change, you'll get the same junk year after year. That's what Venus and Serena do -- bring excitement to the game. If it stays as it is, when Serena and Venus are gone, you'll be back to bare bones in tennis."
• "Yes, I danced at the Open last year, and everyone says I danced in Lindsay Davenport's face, but I was on the other side of the court from her. And why did I dance? I think it was all the abuse I've taken from the press. As a matter of fact, I think I'll do a book on how badly I've been treated. It started from Mary Carillo to Chris Evert to Martina. It goes on and on. And I guarantee every one of those people, if they knew the position I was in, they'd damn near trade their life to be there."
• "I'm told that Martina Navratilova thinks I danced in front of Lindsey Davenport on purpose and that I need to back off and that I'm creating controversies. Well, I prefer not calling names, but in my opinion it's very disgraceful to see someone like her still playing tennis at 45. She must not know anything else to do. I mean, you do something so long, you should get sick of it? Let's face it, when Martina was younger, we know what happened. The doll was Chris Evert, and Martina had tears in her eyes every time she turned around. She was never accepted. So you decide why she says these things? Oh, and by the way, I don't think I've made any comments about her lifestyle. I only care about my family's lifestyle."
• "People call me a dog, a frog, a hoot owl, a monkey, everything else. I could care less. Because I'm happy with me. And I'll never stop loving me."

And so there he is, uncensored, and uncouth and completely himself. You can take the kid out of Shreveport, but not the Shreveport out of the kid. He's been this way ever since Little Man died. When Little Man died, he became Big Man. And maybe he has that right. Either way, now you know him.

To read Tom Friend's column and revisit Little Man, click here.

Tom Friend is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at tom.friend@espnmag.com.