WIMBLEDON, England -- A day late, several deadlines short. But when we're talkin' Anna Kournikova ... who cares?

	Anna Kournikova tried to act like the loss didn't matter -- then she blew her cool.

The thing is on a dead news cycle at Wimbledon -- at least it didn't rain again and, oh yeah, a 6-foot-4, 18-year-old kid named Mario Ancic, who is a devilish-looking, wise-cracking, Croatian Spliting (Split's their hometown) image of Goran Ivanisevic, upset seventh seed Roger Federer -- it's always good to know Anna will save your day.

Yeah, yeah, she lost again Monday -- the fourth straight tournament she's disappeared in the first round. Yeah, OK, she was beaten 6-1, 4-6, 6-4, by a plumpish Russki countrywoman named Tatiana Panova -- who was last seen losing to somebody named Martina Navratilova who's 45 years old, for goodness sakes. (As Mae West once said, apropos of Anna: goodness had nothing to do with it.) And yeah, we know it dropped Anna's season record even deeper below .500. (She's now 16-19).

Then again, who cares?

For lo and behold, there she was once more -- her magnificent front and rear on the front and rear of not merely all the British tabloids but the most famous (arguably) newspaper in the world, The Times Of London. Not that Anna was arguing about The Times' four-column wide, half-page deep photo of her and her flouncing ponytail under the headline: "The 'real' Anna: defeated and angry."

Not to mention, frustrated. Well, how's a girl supposed to win a tennis match -- not to mention a tennis tournament; her oh-for-career in singles events may be as quoted a sports stat as Joe D's 56-game hitting streak -- when so much terrific other, uh, stuff is going on. Try slapping a serve when you're knee deep slapping lawsuits on that Penthouse ragazine that printed a topless photo of you. (And they weren't even you.) Try unleashing a backhand when you're tired from undressing and arching your back in some hot video with that dreamboat Enrique Iglesias. Try pushing a volley when you're so busy pushing sports bras on giant advertising billboards across the globe. And then that tacky Daily Star runs that stupid headline: Bye Bye Kourni, Hello Dani just because that Slovak trollop Hantuchova has longer legs than you. Meanwhile, Sergei hasn't even called since the Wings won back the Cup, so what's up with that?

Hey, life's not exactly a bowl of strawberries and cream when you're a sex icon and the ancient suits at Wimbledon hassle you about wearing black shorts in practice, then -- gag-somebody-with-a-spoon! -- the idiot BBC interviewer questions your motivation! No wonder Anna snapped back and nearly walked out of the studio.

"Am I here to talk about this match or what am I here to talk about?" she railed at Garry Richardson after he suggested her confidence was low. Poor Anna stood up and asked the interview to begin again. "You don't know my confidence is low. It's not. I don't think you should phrase your question that way," she said.

"You lost today. Can you sum up your day?" said the Beeb's Richardson.

"(That's) a good starting question?" fumed Anna. "You're saying my confidence is low? Then you're asking me how my day was? I lost, so that's how my day was."

Damn straight it was, and the next day didn't get any better when the Fourth Estate opened fire some more:

'Pathetic' Anna Blasted for TV Flare-Up. Beaten Beauty Throws Wobbly. Is It Reign Over For Pin-Up Anna? Over And Pout As Angry Anna's Out. And maybe the chintziest yet: All Ova Each Other -- showing Anna kissing Panova on the lips after the match. So what are they suggesting, the cads: a little Lesbian action to boot?

All heavy breathing aside, 16-year-old Anna reached splendor on the grass -- the semifinals of Wimbledon in 1997. But it's been pretty much downhill since then, comparable to her plunging mini-dress lines. Last year, a serious foot injury kept Anna out of the French Open, Wimbledon and the U.S. Open and her ranking fell to No. 74.

This season, in the midst of hiring a former coach of the decade, Harold Solomon (the man most responsible for re-energizing Jennifer Capriati), Anna has lost to the likes of Katarina Srebotnik (well, it was Acapulco, jeez!) and Eleni (Abba Dabba) Danilidou. Conversely, she took both Serena Williams in Sydney and Monica Seles at the Pan Pacific to three sets.

Then again, who cares?

After she lost Monday, Anna briskly escorted the dour winner, Panova, from the lawns -- smiling, laughing and waving to all she surveyed. Or, rather, all who surveyed Her Kounikovaness.

"I think it was a great match," she said. "I think we had some fun points. I just went out there and I tried to enjoy myself being on the court and having a good time. That was my main goal. If I'm committed to it, tennis is the most important thing right now. But if I lose a tennis match, it's not the end of the world."

Damn straight, Anna. You go, girl.

What it's the end of is most of us red-blooded, still-breathing guys having any rooting interest at Wimbledon.

Curry Kirkpatrick is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at curry.kirkpatrick@espnmag.com.