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| Ego meets Sumo From the Page 2 mailbag | ||
Someone managed to squeeze Barry Bonds' ego into the same dugout as a 626-pound sumo wrestler. We spotted the five-time NL MVP sitting next to former sumo champ Konishiki, and we knew it was a scene that begged for our readers' take. You flooded our mailbag with more than 2,200 explanations for this week's Page 2 Mystery Photo. Here are the best of them all.
Due to a language barrier, Bonds must use hand gestures to explain the size of Jeff Kent's role in the organization.
"Wow, not many people can pull off the flannel shirt anymore, but on you, my man ... it's very slimming."
"Let me get this straight ... you play without teammates? Damn, I gotta check this sumo stuff out."
"Geez man, you're supposed to cycle that stuff -- eight weeks on, four weeks off!"
"I said, 'Meet the Mets,' not 'Eat the Mets'!"
"Gee, I've never met anyone who looked like an 85-mph fastball, before."
"Back in the U.S., we have a guy named Jared who used to look just like you. A few turkey subs later ... now he only dresses like you."
Barry Bonds talks shop with the Giants' new skipper, Roseanne.
Hoping the deceptively quick big man will understand, Barry Bonds still tries to explain why he couldn't throw out Sid "Two Flat Tires" Bream.
"See that guy over there, the one with the porn 'stache? He said your momma makes you look like Screech."
"Come on, Konishiki, it's time for dinner. Put back the tablecloth."
"I've got some bad news, Barry. I accidentally sat on your son."
"Don't worry about it, Big Daddy. That kid was taking way too much of my camera time."
Bonds: "I had over 50 intentional walks this season."
Konishiki: The only time I intentionally walk is at the buffet table.
"All right, all right, I get it! I make everyone else feel shrimpy, lacking and inadequate ... did we really need to drag the fat guy into this?"
"You ate how many tubs of KFC? ... and Jason Alexander!"
"A raincoat? Sure, bro, just cut some arm holes in Pac Bell's tarp!"
"What'd you want K-dog?"
"I'll have six cheeseburgers, fries -- giant-sized pleased -- 50 piece chicken nuggets, four apple pies ... and a Diet Coke."
"Remember, Barry-san, no single player is bigger than the game ..."
"Sorry Barry, but you don't have a doughnut's chance within my reach at a championship."
With Baker headed elsewhere, the Giants search for sturdier new bat boy. First on the list: Benny Agbayani.
"C'mon K, every good man from San Francisco knows that plaids only accentuate the waistline."
"You know, you're right. I did notice how svelte you look in that solid fleece ... And that earring really accentuates your jaw line."
Barry chuckles at Mo Vaughn's explanation of hitting and "the munchies."
"Between your haircut and my earring, we'll show 'em good fashion is timeless.
"No really, go ahead, try it on --sometimes when it rains, the cap for my bloated melon is used to cover the infield -- it might just fit you."
"Ohh, I've got a belly ring that looks just like that. Want to see it?"
I want my Barry-back, Barry-back, Barry-back
I've got more chins than a Chinese phone book!
"If you make it to San Francisco, look me up, I've got this friend Jeff I'd like you to eat ... I mean meet!"
And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds, right, chats with former sumo wrestler Konishiki on Nov. 7 at the Tokyo Dome in Tokyo. Bonds and other major-leaguers are touring Japan for a seven-game major league all-star series against Japanese stars. (AP Photo/Shizuo Kambayashi)
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