Let's say you're caught at the water cooler, on the barstool or during a first date, and the subject of the new NBA season comes up. You must have an
opinion on at least two subjects:
(1) LeBron James:
Just say: "This kid can't possibly live up to his own, horribly mismanaged expectations."
(2) Kobe Bryant:
Just say: "I'm not talking about it until there's actually something to talk about."
Otherwise: Use the list below to ensure that you present the trendiest angle possible to co-workers, buddies and the all-important "significant others":
| WHAT'S HOT, WHAT'S NOT IN THE NBA |
| Category |
Hot |
Not Hot |
| Controversy |
Kobe catcalls |
Star non-calls |
| "What?? No call??"-type scorer
|
Paul Pierce |
Yao Ming |
| Break-out All-Star |
Gilbert Arenas |
Tim Thomas |
| Hardware lock |
Alonzo: Improved |
LeBron: Rookie |
| Arena distraction |
Free giveaways |
"Jiggle Cam" |
| Hot (even though they stink) |
Cavs |
Clippers |
| Impact acquisition |
Antoine Walker |
Raef Lafrentz |
| Prep-to-pro worth props |
Eddy Curry |
Tyson Chandler |
| Is it a contract year? |
Kenyon Martin |
Antonio McDyess |
| Trade bait |
Kwame Brown |
Latrell Sprewell |
| Arena music |
Pharrell |
Ashanti |
| Skill for wannabe 10-day-contractors |
Can you play defense? |
Can you play point? |
| NBA factory |
Brazil |
Argentina |
| Second-wind vet |
Reggie Miller |
Calbert Cheaney |
| Growth stock |
Jonathan Bender |
Vince Carter |
| Jersey |
Carmelo's "Nuggets 15" |
D-Mile's "Cavs 21" |
| Technical foul |
Jawing at sensitive refs |
Defensive three seconds |
| Early-season revelation |
LeBron ain't no MJ |
Heat suddenly good |
| Must-watch injury |
Shaq's toe |
Dirk's ankle |
| Role player |
Three-point SG |
Playmaking PG |
| Master strategist |
Bill Cartwright |
Randy Ayers |
| NBA Finals MVP candidate |
Gary Payton |
Chris Webber |
| Needs more pub |
Nene |
Amare Stoudemire |
| Owner |
Abe Pollin |
The Maloofs |
| Pat Riley |
Bumbling exec |
Bumbling coach |
| Friend-wowing fantasy-draft pick |
Zach Randolph |
Keith Van Horn |
| Nickname inspiration |
Playing style |
Puns or surname |
| Goal of offseason acquisition |
Depth |
Size |
| Soothing team presence |
Robert Horry |
Rasheed Wallace/font> |
| Foreign stud |
Manu Ginobili |
Peja Stojakovic |
| Frustrated star |
Tracy McGrady |
Allen Iverson |
| Sweatband |
Double-wide on head |
On bicep |
| Hairstyle |
Back to bald |
Unkempt |
| Requisite scoring punch |
Four-headed monster |
Three-headed monster |
| Fun to watch |
Mavs |
Celtics |
| Conventional pick for champs |
Spurs |
Kings |
| Contrarian pick for champs |
Anyone from the East |
Lakers |
Dan Shanoff is a columnist for Page 2. His "Daily Quickie" commentary appears every weekday morning.
