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 ESPN's Chris Mortensen looks at Kerry Collins' candid news conference with the media.
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Monday, January 22
Collins talks about his troubled past
Associated Press
TAMPA, Fla. -- Kerry Collins bared his soul about his
troubled past Monday night, transforming a Super Bowl interview
into a very public confessional.
The New York Giants quarterback, a self-admitted shy kid,
discussed the problems that almost ended his NFL career.
Standing behind a podium for 35 minutes, Collins answered
question after question about alcohol dependency; being labeled a
racist and a quitter; the dark moments of rehabilitation; and
eventually turning his career around, leading the New York Giants
to a Super Bowl meeting with the Baltimore Ravens.
In an era when athletes do their best to shield their private
lives, Collins treated this news conference like a meeting of
Alcoholics Anonymous, opening himself up in a candid, informative
and impressive manner.
"It's hard for me to dredge up all those memories," he said,
"but the stage being what it is and the situation being what it
is, hopefully, it can have a positive affect on something."
When a moderator asked him if he wanted to stop after the
allotted 30 minutes was up, Collins said no and answered about five
more questions.
No subject was taboo.
"Well, I'm human and I too have frailties and weaknesses, and
we all do," Collins said. "Hopefully, people can see me as a role
model in the sense people have problems, and alcohol dependency is
part of life. It's part of everyday life.
"Hopefully, they can look at me as someone who realized he had
a problem and realized he needed to do something about it."
Collins, who has been very frank about his problems since
signing with the Giants two years ago, gave new insights into his
alcohol dependency and for the first time publicly discussed the
racial incident that led to his falling into disfavor with his
Carolina Panthers teammates.
Collins, 28, said he didn't drink everyday or every other day,
but "when I did, I never stopped."
The racial incident followed a binge that came at the end of the
Panthers' training camp in 1998.
"We all went out and had drinks and I was very intoxicated,"
Collins said. "There was celebrations going on back in the dorm
and I used a word that was not meant to be used."
Collins did not disclose the word he used, but insisted he was
trying to use it in a joking manner to get a few laughs.
"I used a term that was not meant to be used in a malicious
way," he said. "In my polluted, altered mind, I believed that, in
some sort of way, it would bring forth some sense of camaraderie. I
certainly didn't mean for it to be taken the way it was."
Collins said the incident left him with an unfair label, because
he has had black friends his entire life.
Collins said his darkest hour came when he went into
rehabilitation after a driving-under-the-influence conviction.
"That was a time I realized it was at the point where it was
pretty bad for me, the realization of having to go to a controlled
structured environment to seek help was certainly very shocking to
me. That's something I will never forget."
Collins hated being in the spotlight and he drank as a way to
rebel.
'I had trouble with public attention, living in the public
eye," he said. "It was like, `I'll show you, I'll hurt me.' "
Collins said he was most proud of his success off the field.
"I had a hard time separating between Kerry Collins the
quarterback and Kerry Collins the person," he said. "That
distinction wasn't clear until I realized I needed to take care of
myself first before I could do anything on the football field or in
my career."
In turning his life around, Collins also turned around his
career, setting personal bests for yards passing (3,610) and
touchdowns (22).
"I didn't want to look back in 20 or 30 years and see I wasted
a talent that is a unique talent," Collins said. "That has been
one of the driving forces in the whole process."
So is being honest.
"Do I like to talk about it everyday? No!"
Maybe he won't have to after Monday.
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