| | By Gene Wojciechowski
ESPN The Magazine
Is there anything more useless than pennies, Members Only jackets and preseason top 25 polls? Well, now that you mention it. . .
Presenting our top 25 preseason predictions:
25 -- That a yet-to-be-determined Texas starter, most likely 180-pound cornerback Ahmad Brooks, will suffer a season-ending back injury while lifting the Longhorns' massive 536-page football media guide. "I told him to use his legs and, for the love of God, to wear a weight belt -- but he wouldn't listen," a disgusted Jeff Madden, the program's strength and conditioning coach, will say.
Similar injuries will occur at Florida (400 pages) and USC (368). The NCAA later will pass legislation limiting future media guide size to 85 pages. Coaches will protest the move, saying the reductions affects their ability to field a competitive guide.
24 -- That as late as Nov. 18, the Heisman Trophy race will remain exactly that, a race. Everybody's preseason favorite, Virginia Tech quarterback Michael Vick, will have a slight edge over Purdue quarterback Drew Brees, Florida State quarterback Chris Weinke, Nebraska quarterback Eric Crouch and fast-closing Alabama receiver Freddie Milons.
|  | | Florida's Jesse Palmer may be the starter now, but don't be surprised if he's replaced by freshman phenom Brock Berlin. |
23 -- That Jesse Palmer will begin the season as Florida's starting quarterback, but he won't finish it there, courtesy of true freshman Brock Berlin. Same goes at Tennessee, where true freshman Casey Clausen will eventually unseat Joey Mathews.
22 -- That Miami, Georgia, Tennessee and Texas are overrated and Oklahoma, Ohio State, Boston College, Maryland, Marshall, TCU and North Carolina are underrated.
21 -- That Vanderbilt will receive its first bowl bid since 1982. That means somebody gets upset by the Commodores, either Georgia, Kentucky or Tennessee.
20 -- That Florida's third team could beat Ball State, which finished 0-11 last season and opens its year with a Sept. 2 visit to The Swamp. One bright note: Ball State plays Buffalo (also winless in 1999) Oct. 21.
19 -- That you can count on one hand how many coaches would do what Cal coach Tom Holmoe is doing -- that is, declining to sign a proposed contract extension until he turns the program around. Until further notice, Holmoe is No. 1 in our Integrity Poll.
18 -- That the Comeback Player of the Year will be North Carolina quarterback Ronald Curry, Texas Tech running back Ricky Williams, or Southern California quarterback Carson Palmer.
17 -- That new Kentucky quarterback Jared Lorenzen, who beat out incumbent Dusty Bonner, will become a collegiate cult hero. The 6-4, 270-pound (wink, wink) Lorenzen is heavier than every starting tight end in the SEC, as well as two starting offensive linemen at Air Force.
16 -- That this season's Hawaii will be Cincinnati, UNLV, North Carolina or Auburn.
15 -- That Texas A&M will have its first losing season since 1982.
14 -- That if Joe Gunn remains healthy, Heisman candidate Deuce McAllister might not lead Ole Miss in rushing -- again.
13 -- That Rutgers coach Terry Shea will be the first coach to be fired.
12 -- That Notre Dame will win three of its first five games (lose to Nebraska and Purdue, beat Stanford, Texas A&M and Michigan State), finish 8-3, and it won't be enough to satisfy Irish fans still trapped in a Gipper time warp.
11 -- That some smart Colorado State lawyer will sue the St. Louis Rams for stealing their uniforms.
|  | | Don't know who Washington RB Paul Arnold is yet? Just wait -- you will. |
10 -- That the Big Ten will stay at 11 teams (Notre Dame screwed the pooch on that one), that the Bowl Championship series is here to stay, that you'll know who Washington running back Paul Arnold is by the end of the season.
9 -- That on schedule strength alone, TCU, Colorado State and Marshall have wonderful chances to finish undefeated.
8 -- That there will be no quarterback controversy at Nebraska. Eric Crouch is the starter, former quarterback Bobby Newcombe is the wingback -- and has made it clear he wants to stay there. One problem: if Crouch gets hurt (he added some weight during the offseason to help offset that possibility), then coach Frank Solich will have no choice but to approach Newcombe about a position change.
7 -- That the two best regular season games will be Nov. 4 (Virginia Tech at Miami) and Nov. 18 (Florida at Florida State).
Not too much will be at stake, only the Heisman chances of Vick and Weinke, a possible Big East championship, an unbeaten season for the Gators or Seminoles. By the way, the winner of the FSU-UF game has played for the national championship five of the last seven seasons. Make it six of the lasts eight.
6 -- That within four seasons, Northwestern's Randy Walker and Texas Tech's Mike Leach will have worked wonders at their respective programs.
5 -- That there isn't a person with an actual life who can name all 13 teams in the Mid-American Conference.
4 -- That Penn State will remember spring and fall practices as some of the toughest in JoePa history. Word is that Paterno is making sure no one confuses his intent: that a projected middle-of-the-pack finish in the Big Ten isn't acceptable.
3 -- That Major Applewhite will make it difficult when it comes time for Texas coach Mack Brown to choose a starting quarterback. Applewhite, who returns after tearing his left ACL last January, is the sentimental favorite, but here's guessing sophomore Chris Simms will be the starter. Simms added about 20 pounds of muscle during the offseason and coaches raved about his spring practice performances.
2 -- That nobody will be able to explain the logic of the NCAA's decision to allow teams to play as many as 14 games during the 2002 and 2003 seasons (12 regular season games, a conference championship game, a bowl game), but yet not endorse a playoff system. What happened to all those worries about players missing class time? What, no classes in 2002 and 2003?
Hmmm. . . a 14-game season is the exact number it would take to implement an eight-team playoff system. Chances of this happening: (Hint: place forefinger and thumb together.)
1 -- That Nebraska will beat Florida State for the national championship.
Gene Wojciechowski's Movers and Shakers will appear weekly beginning Monday, Sept. 4.
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